I met a girl this summer, in Poland.
She was visibly exhausted from a long day of flying and far from anything that even remotely resembled her comfort zone. She was happy to be there and excited for the week that lied ahead but intimidated by almost everything and everyone she met at the camp. She assumed that each of them was completely prepared and ready to begin and that it was only a matter of time before they all realized she had no clue. She was constantly wondering how she wound up in the midst of the people she did, with their warmth and depth and magnetic confidence. She was struck all throughout training by her smallness and insecurity and constantly doubted her ability to teach english, to lead worship, to even teach the silly camp dance to the students. She spent most of the first days at H2O enchanted and smiling, but scared out of her mind.
But then she did something I didn't expect and certainly would never have done myself…
She decided she didn't care.
Around the third day of training she gave it up. She decided that sooner or later everyone would figure out her secret -they would find out how little she knew about what she was doing and how insecure it made her feel. So, she embraced it.
She learned to ignore her insecurity and begin conversations with people before confirming that they liked her. She held talks for hours in two broken languages about nothing more than favorite foods, music, and the fact that no, for the eighth time, she still didn't have a boyfriend.
She memorized the interns' creed: Be infinitely flexible and constantly amazed, doodled it into her binder, and followed their lead as they all found new ways to live it out.
She admitted to her co-teacher and later to her class that this was completely new to her and that while she would try as hard as she could to do her best, she was still learning at this too. So she would down another cup of spark, open up her binder, and rework her lesson plan…again. She learned the art of creative explanations and that sometimes it’s okay to scrap a lesson and play "ninja" or “singing in the rain” instead.
She played guitar in front of a music major and stopped wincing each time her fingers missed a fret.
She faced her inability to dance and did it anyways, matching her partner step for step as they moved through each verse of the camp song with the excitement and grace of two four year-olds. She filmed a Disco-Polo music video and joined in the impromptu dance parties between English sessions and traded in her reserve for the chance to be part of something bigger and more important than herself. She didn't even flinch as the Polish school teachers began pulling out camera phones to record the crazy groups of dancing students and volunteers.
She learned to open up. That vulnerability and honesty are sometimes painful but often essential. To not only accept her awkwardness and her quirks, but to embrace them. And she learned this from some of the best.
She memorized quickly the word przepraszam -polish for sorry or excuse me- and used it liberally as she waded through a new culture and language, always with a smile, a quick laugh at herself, and the resolve to get it right next time.
And because of all this, she found herself at the thresholds of many new doors. She gained a greater appreciation for the people and stories that surround her and a better idea of just how many people are waiting to be spoken to and cared about and loved. She mastered ‘two-ball’, nearly woke up the campus in a 2 a.m. foosbol match, and fought off swarms of mosquitos the size of South Dakota on the outdoor volleyball court. She learned honesty and openness are far more appealing than perfection could ever be and because of this, found a confidence she never knew she had. She climbed towers in the Czech Republic, wandered the square in Krakow, and ’backpacked’ across Europe with one of her best friends. She finally discovered how to both spell and pronounce Jastrzebie-Zdroj, the town she was living in and made her share of friendships, mistakes, and memories while she was there. 5,133 miles away from her home, she learned a new language, culture, and a few new dance moves, tried the best stuffed dumplings and ice cream she had ever eaten, and had the time of her life in the few weeks she was there.
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